Third year of uni has just about started with week 2 coming to an end. I want to be more sure of the future path I will take so I figured blogging in this space could perhaps help me think out loud and figure what kind of direction would be best. Everyone seems to already have a plan for their future and I am feeling so lost because I really have not decided on what I would like to achieve/do after graduation. Ideally, I would like to be able to do Honours since it is super competitive back in Singapore. I need to gain an upper hand/additional edge if my competitors come from the more well recognised Universities.
Internships never seem to be that crucial for my degree choice in Communications but man was I wrong. People around me were doing things to make their CV look attractive or had already done internships in the past. This was a huge reality check for me as I was definitely lacking behind. In addition, this semester had me taking on four level 3 units for my two majors (Anthropology & Communications). The units are all content and project heavy which probably makes this semester my toughest one. Gonna try and make full use of this space whenever I can to practice writing (even if they are just random spiels) and try to decide on what I feel passionate about. Do I want to write for a magazine or paper, do I want to do more promotional work and advertising through media etc.
I believe that God always has a plan for me but He gave us free will and it is also very much up to me do make informed decisions for my own life. There is only so much He can guide me through.
I know for sure that I have to push myself super hard this semester and work hard to step out of my comfort zones, speak out and be productive. Here's to doing my best in every task and being proud of my own contributions!!!
They say it gets easier each time...
Let's hope that it does. Back in Singapore, I was honestly looking forward to starting uni again. My brain seriously needed another workout after being away for the summer. The new year meant that I was taking new units and this was another opportunity for me to work hard and perform better than before. Especially since I should know what uni expects now.
As the first week of uni comes to an end, I feel that I'm somehow still struggling to adapt. When I walk around uni, I feel that I always stick out like a sore thumb, that people are staring, talking... I know I could be over-thinking, but then again, who is there to tell me that I'm not? Could it be a pure coincidence that no matter how many times I take the bus to uni, no one chooses to sit next to the asian girl? Do I smell? Do I look like I would swallow you whole? Hmmmm I simply cannot wrap my head around this.
The other day, I overheard a middle aged man say " You wouldn't want an asian to sit next to you now would you?" as I made my way towards the end of the bus after class. Somehow my mind started freaking out because I started to feel ashamed that I was asian... for that brief moment. I should have given myself a tight slap across the face for even thinking that way. One doesn't choose their race, GOD does. I must never let anyone make me feel like that. NEVER. Yes, we may not have the same skin colour, same accent or religion, but when you cut me, I'm pretty sure we bleed the same.
It feels like a constant struggle to fit in and to assimilate. How do I adapt successfully and still retain who I am?
After the first 30mins or 1 hour, students usually could leave the exam venue and when they did, I would almost always stop writing and just watch them leave the room... Which obviously isn't a very smart thing to do when I am already a slow writer. But when more people leave, I get crazy panicky and all. I would have to learn how to maintain my composure and focus better even if I'm the last few people that choose to stay for the entire exam duration. A guy from Ethel's college said results are out for our anthropology essays and I'm quite unsure if I want to go check it now. At least not anytime soon.
Ethel's flying back today and I think I'm gonna miss her quite a bit since we see each other almost everyday since the semester started in July ;( I just read 'The perks of being a wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky and I really enjoyed the book! I didn't really get the part way he was actually sexually abused by his Aunt Helen though... I got that he had a difficult childhood but I was not able to pick up that his aunt was the one. This probably means that I need to read it again. The reason I sped through it was that Pauly and I are going to catch the movie tmr after church and I always like to read beforehand. If anyone is looking for something new to read over the summer, I would recommend Perks! It makes one reflect about our own growing up experience and how they shaped the person we are today. The movie was directed by the author himself so I'm looking forward to how he translated it into a film. The cast include well known names like Emma Watson (I LOVE HER!!), Logan Lerman (from the Percy Jackson movie), Ezra Miller and there's also Nina Dobrev amongst others!
My copy has this cover and I liked how it's pretty and unique ;D
This marks the start of a new chapter in my life. Where University starts in a completely new environment, new country, new family and of course new experiences. So far the people around me have been really friendly and supportive. Big thank you to the Tan family for opening up their home for me to stay during the course of my education here. Really really grateful to them :) Decided to update this livejournal and see where it takes me.
I came over to Perth on 17 July 2012 so its been almost 2 months and I guess it's safe to say that I've kinda gotten used to life here. There are times where I feel really lonely and lost without my family and friends, but then again I'm super glad I have Aunty Pat, Pauly, Pam & Ash. They make feel like I'm part of the family and always ask me if I'm doing alright. They are sooooo nice that I feel really bad for imposing on them like that and can never seem to do anything to show how grateful I am. The best thing that I can do is the washing of dishes. Hahah. Like thats the only thing I have confidence in doing well and not fear that I'll mess up! So whenever I come across anything in the basin, I'll wash it up.
To be honest, uni hasn't been easy and I'm still trying to get through everyday by doing my best. Thank God for letting me know awesome people like Ethel and Pearl!! They are the nicest girls and I seriously would not have survived till today if not for them. We're all doing different majors but Ethel and I have Communications and Anthropology lectures together. We meet each other almost everyday to have lunch, study or just hang out in uni. Recently, we've been meeting up to run as well ;)
Ethel, Pearl & me~
Although we've only known each other recently, I can confidently say that we'll be friends for a really long time to come. It's like we're all different and yet similar in so many ways.
I can't wait to go back to Singapore because I miss my Omma, Papa, Gab, Blaine, Ah ma & all my relatives. Especially the little kiddos. Of course, the Sjc girls and my Ij friends as well. Plussss, the food!!! Oh myyyyy, I miss all the cheap and good food we have back home!! Eating out is crazy expensive here and most places close by 7pm. BUT! I definitely need to watch what I eat because I've been reminded by my relatives that I look like I've gained weight here T.T Zzzzz, the constant battle with the weighing scale...
As a result, I've been trying hard to exercise regularly, drink more water and portion my meals whenever I can. Of course, keeping fit is also another factor.
Mid sem break is here and finally we can relax a little and catch up on content while working on the assignments we have due in the following weeks >.>
Need to learn to count my blessings and trust in God more.
Today, my whole world came crashing down. I lost my buddy Flash this morning at 9:45am, his heart stopped beating the moment we ran into the vet.
Is this part of God's plan?
To take away my best friend when I needed him the most?
Help me believe that he's in a better place now.
Here's smth a wrote for him:
Thank you for bringing so much joy & laughter to our family. You helped show the young kids like Ash & Tasha that dogs aren't that scary. You made my family realize that a four legged companion isn't just a dog but a friend, a buddy, family.
We're gonna miss how much you love to tan yourself in the afternoon sun, how you give us the cheeky but guilty face if you did smth wrong, how excitedly you'll greet each one of us no matter how long you've been tied up.
No dog is gonna be like you. We cannot express how proud we are when we take you out on walks and you can easily bite your own lesh to walk beside us.
Your quirky habits of needing to sleep in both mama/papa's room and ours each night. How you would do anything for food.
Who's gonna be there for me when I sit at the porch to cry when I feel like no understands? Who's gonna be the happiest person to see me each time I'm home? Who's gonna lie down on the living room floor with me and be my pillow?
I'm never ever gonna forget you Flash. You were more than my best friend. No amount of words can describe how thankful I am to have been able to be a part of your life. I hope you've been happy. I love you soooo much <3
You'll always be dearly missed,
He knew when it was his last few moments on earth. Flash walked into our room to lie down at ALL his usual places, next to our wardrobe, under my study table, at the foot of my ladder, mom/dad's room where his bed was. He even walked to his corner to sit before struggling to go under the table at the porch where he stumbled and I started to cry as I feared the worst was coming.
Gab & I sat with him in the boot as he struggled for his last few breaths. We kept asking him to hang on and we could see him trying to hard to catch each breath. It was so painful to watch as tears flowed down our faces non-stop.
On behalf of all the ppl that have met you and loved you, thank you Flash dear for giving us more love than we could ever give you.
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